Self-Centeredness

I've become convinced that the single greatest problem in our world is self-centeredness. Back in the day of Christ, a man asked Jesus what was the greatest command. And Jesus answered, “You shall love the Lord God with all your heart, and will all your soul, and with all your mind.” Then Jesus followed up with “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39). Jesus put this second command in an interesting way. He didn't just say, “You shall love your neighbor.” He said to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, knowing that we are full of self-love, that we are self-centered by nature.

The other day, I experienced an incredible act of self-centeredness. I was leaving our parking garage at work. It happened that this was the time that many people were leaving that same garage. There were two booths with attendants taking tickets and payments. I selected one that only had one car in it. And I sat. And I sat. And I waited. And I waited some more. In the car ahead of me, the lady driving decided it was a good time to strike up a lengthy conversation with the woman in the ticket booth. She talked, and talked, never once looking back to see the line of cars stacking up behind her. She was totally self-absorbed with no concern of anyone else's time. Even the ticket booth attendant glanced several times at the line of cars. The lady in the car kept on talking.

For some reason, driving a vehicle brings out the worst self-centered behavior. Think about it. Texting while driving is a extremely self-centered act. Actually, doing anything distracting while driving is self-centered. It's dangerous, and doing anything that endangers others while driving, is self-centered. An accident generally involves more than one vehicle. Even if it only involves one vehicle, it still causes delays for everyone else on the road who comes upon that accident. And thus, if we purposely do something that puts us at a greater risk of an accident, we are being self-centered. I won't even go into speeding, cutting in front of others, and failure to use turn signals.

The Bible says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). Even things like excessive drinking, excessive gambling, smoking, and over-eating are self-centered acts. Alcoholics, drug addicts, smokers who contract smoking related illnesses impact more than just themselves. They impact others around them such as their family. These things also affect insurance rates and medical costs, thus they impact all of us. The addict is the ultimate self-centered person. They have nothing in mind other than satisfying their craving. There is rarely any thought of how their behavior affects others.

Are people capable of self-sacrifice? Sure we are. Thousands of people respond to natural disasters, such as the tornado in Joplin, MO, either by going and helping or by contributing money and things. For example, a local restaurant this past weekend did a fund raiser for those people. People lined up outside the door before the restaurant even opened. People can be others-centered. But, is that the way we live our life? For Christians, Jesus is our model of how to live. And He lived everyday for others. Do we even live an hour a day for others? I know, some of you are saying, hey, I'm a parent, I live everyday for my kids. Yes, and I've witnessed some of the most incredible acts of self-centeredness by parents on behalf of their kids. There are examples in the Bible, such as in Matthew 20:20-23, where a mother asks Jesus that her sons be allowed to sit on either side of Christ in heaven. What do you think her true motivation was? Was is really for her sons or for herself? And even if her motivation was directed at her sons, it's still a self-centered act as this woman gives no thoughts to others outside her immediate family. Self-centeredness is not always directed only at self, but can be directed at our immediate circle.

Even when we perform acts of kindness or acts of self-sacrifice, we have to check our motives. Why are we doing it? Are we trying to assuage a guilty conscience? Have we reached a point where we've been so self-involved that we do something for someone else just so we can relieve that guilt? Are we doing what we're doing because it's trendy? Are we doing what we're doing in order to look good? In Matthew 6:1, Jesus said, “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.” I've seen this in the form of bragging, telling all about how someone helped out someone else. Maybe the motivation started out pure, but ended up being all about the person who was doing the helping out.

Why should we do things for others? Again, we should be modeling our life after Jesus. For a Christian, it should be a way of life. We should be others-centered because Christ commands us to be, and we should be following His commands because we love Him (John 14:15).

Chuck Swindol once said about obeying Christ, that we should just do it, and eventually, the joy will come. That's great advice as far as serving others as well. Let's start with serving others because we know we don't do it enough. Eventually, we'll find the true joy that God gives us in putting Him and others first and it will become natural for us.

Oh, and don't think I have this thing licked myself. As Romans 2:1 says, “Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things.” This is one of the areas in my life that God continually works on. I admit, I have a long ways to go.